Well, hello there! Let’s be frank, we all know a good poop joke never stinks. In fact, it’s a sure-fire way to turn a crappy day right around! 😂
Get ready to dive into a world of number two humor that’s truly number one. We’ve flushed out the very best puns and jokes that we’re sure you’ve never herd before. I mean, my own grandma once laughed so hard at one she nearly fell off the pot!
So, let’s get the ball rolling and brighten your mood with some legendary potty humor. You’re in for a treat! 💩
The Funniest Poop Jokes You’ll Ever Hear
Get ready to laugh untill your stomach hurts with these legendary knee-slappers! 😂 We’ve gathered the best of the best for you.
- I asked the toilet why it looked so sad, and it said it was feeling a bit flushed.
- That little piece of corn in the toilet is a real star, it just got famous overnight.
- My dad told me a secret about his job at the toilet paper factory, but it’s still confidential.
- The constipated mathematician finally worked it out with a pencil and paper.
- I told my friend a joke about a pile of poop, but it was too corny.
- Why did the poop not want to leave the bathroom? Because it was too potty-trained.
- The ghost in the bathroom is not scary, he just makes a little boo-boo.
- I tried to write a song about a toilet, but it was just a bunch of crap.
- My uncle said his new job at the sewage plant is going down the drain.
- The two pieces of poop were racing, but one ended up a little behind.
- I read a book about anti-gravity toilets, I just could not put it down.
- The nervous poop finally made it to the party, it was a little tense.
- Why was the toilet paper so brave? It was not afraid to roll into action.
Quick and Dirty Poop Joke One-Liners
These speedy jokes are so quick, you will get the punchline before you can even blink! 💨
- I told a poop joke but it was a bit too stinky for the room.
- My friend did a magic trick with poop and made it disappear.
- That poop was so lazy it just wanted to sit on the couch.
- I tried to take a picture of some poop but it was too blurry.
- The poop joined the army because it wanted to be in the troops.
- I wrote a love letter to a toilet but it was full of flush talk.
- The poop was a musician but it only played in a number two band.
- My mom said my joke was rubbish but I thought it was pure gold.
- The poop went to school to learn how to be more refined.
- I had a joke about a fart but it suddenly slipped my mind.
- The poop fell in love with a toilet roll, it was a whirlwind romance.
- My dog told me a poop joke but it was a little too rough.
- The constipated ghost could not say boo, it could only say moo.
Giggles Guaranteed Silly Poop Jokes for Kids
These super silly jokes are perfect for kids who love a good, harmless giggle! 🤪
- Why did the little poop cry? Because it was a little softy inside.
- What do you call a dinosaur poop? A real big dino-sore, that is what.
- The happy little poop was always smiling because it was so content.
- Why did the kid bring a pencil to the toilet? For a number two exam.
- The little piece of corn said it was lost and needed to find its family.
- What is a pirate’s favorite thing about a toilet? The treasure chest, of course.
- The poop was so excited for its birthday, it was practically bursting.
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
- The friendly ghost in the bathroom only makes a little bit of a mess.
- What is a rabbit’s favorite kind of poop? One that is full of little hops.
- The nervous poop was afraid it would not make a good impression on anyone.
- Why was the math book so sad? It had way too many problems to go.
- The little poop went on a long journey down the river to the sea.
Sophisticatedly Gross Poop Jokes for Adults
These jokes are for grown-ups who appreciate a more refined, yet still totally gross, sense of humor. 😏
- The intellectual poop spent all its time in the library studying ancient history.
- My therapist told me my obsession with poop jokes is a cry for help.
- The wine critic said the new vintage had a very earthy and robust flavor.
- I tried to write a philosophical essay on the meaning of poop but it was crap.
- The two poops had a very deep conversation about the state of the nation.
- My boss said my presentation was full of it, and I think he meant data.
- The existential poop was constantly questioning its own purpose in the great circle of life.
- I brought a casserole to the potluck, but everyone said it looked suspicious.
- The poet wrote an ode to a toilet, it was a true work of art.
- My date went really well until we started debating politics and things got messy.
- The gourmet chef created a new dish but it looked a little too familiar.
- The psychic predicted I would have a moving experience later this evening.
- The lawyer sued the toilet for emotional distress and won the case easily.
Knock Knock Who’s There It’s a Poop Joke
Get ready to annoy your family with these classic, door-knocking punchlines! 🚪😂
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Poo. Poo who? Poo-ple say you tell great jokes!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Flush. Flush who? Flush your worries away with laughter!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Doody. Doody who? Doody you wanna hear another funny joke?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Stool. Stool who? Stool-ish me, I forgot the next line!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Number Two. Number Two who? Number Two early for the party?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Loo. Loo who? Loo-k who finally showed up to laugh!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Toot. Toot who? Toot-ally glad you came to the door!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Waste. Waste who? Waste not, want not, so open up!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Plunger. Plunger who? Plunger head first into this hilarious joke!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Crap. Crap who? Crap-tain America is here to save the day!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Laxative. Laxative who? Laxative in, the jokes are starting to flow!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Corn. Corn who? Corn-d you please just open the door?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Butt. Butt who? Butt-er late than never to answer the door!
The Filthiest Most Outrageous Poop Jokes
These jokes are so wrong they’re right, guaranteed to make you groan and laugh! 💩🤣
- I asked the doctor to check my poop and he said it was a moving story.
- The constipated composer finally finished his symphony, it was a hard-pass from critics.
- My teacher said my essay on toilets was the best piece of crap she ever read.
- The politician’s speech was full of the same old stuff we hear every year.
- I tried to start a band with my poop but it was just a one-hit wonder.
- The divorce lawyer said the couple split over irreconcilable doo-doo differences.
- The astronaut poop floated away and became its own little planet of stink.
- My grandma said my new hobby is s* but she used a nicer word.
- The movie about a toilet won an Oscar for best supporting porcelain role.
- The chef made a soup that looked like it had already been eaten once.
- The psychic said she saw a brown future in my cards for this evening.
- The new employee at the toilet factory was put in charge of the bottom line.
- The judge sentenced the poop to life in the sewer without any parole.
Conclusion
So, we’ve finally reached the end of our roll! 😂 We hope this mighty collection of potty humor has given you a real reason to smile and maybe even snort-laugh a little. Remember, no matter how crappy your day might seem, a good poop joke is allways there to flush those blues away. Keep these puns in your back pocket to spread the giggles wherever you go. Thanks for reading—you’ve been a totally flush-tastic audience! 💩
Now go forth and make someone’s day a little more mov-ing
The pun party doesn’t stop here – explore more unlimited puns at FunneyPuns.com!

I’m John Michael, a passionate humorist with 3 years of blogging experience, sharing the funniest puns and jokes to brighten your day. If you love witty wordplay and laughter, you’re in the right place!