190+ Bagel Puns That Are Hole-y Hilarious and Delicious

Welcome to the land of Bagel 🍩 Puns!

If you knead a reason to smile today, 190+ Bagel Puns That Are Hole-y Hilarious and Delicious is the perfect spread for your mood 🥯😄. This isn’t your plain old wordplay — we’re talking full-on cream cheese-level comedy with a sprinkle of everything nice. These puns are fresh out of the oven and ready to roll right into your funny bone.

Whether you’re a bagel lover or just here for some tasty jokes, you’re in for a real treat 🍩😂. These puns will have you giggling in public, snorting over your coffee, or sending them to your bestie with a “you’ve gotta read this!” warning. Who knew breakfast could be this funny?

The goal? To serve you the most belly-laugh-worthy, toasted-with-humor, and cleverly crafted bagel jokes out there. From poppy-seeded punchlines to savory zingers, this list is here to fill your day with joy and your chats with jokes.

1. Classic Bagel Zingers 🥯😄

Ready to roll into some timeless comedy? These classic bagel puns are a hole lot of fun. They’re baked to perfection and sprinkled with just the right amount of cheesy humor.

Perfect for sharing with fellow carb lovers or spicing up your group chat. Let’s toast to laughter and everything bagel-icious!

1. I told my bagel it was beautiful, and it blushed with cream cheese! 🥯😊
   
2. My bagel joined a band because it wanted to be on a roll! 🎸😆
   
3. That bagel looked so good, even toast felt insecure! 🍞😳
   
4. You knead this bagel pun in your life—it’s un-bread-lievably funny! 😂🥯
   
5. The bagel tried online dating but couldn’t find the right schmear! 💔📱
   
6. He said he was everything I kneaded—just like my morning bagel! 😍🥯
   
7. My bagel told me I was toast if I didn’t laugh at this pun! 🔥😅
   
8. I buttered my bagel with love and cheesy jokes this morning! 🧈🤣
   
9. Bagels don’t do well in therapy—they always feel empty inside! 🥲🥯
   
10. This bagel is so funny, even the muffins are jealous! 🧁😂
    
11. My bagel applied for a job—it said it had a well-rounded resume! 📄😄
    
12. I gave the bagel a compliment, and it toasted me back! 🔄🥯
    
13. Never argue with a bagel, it always has a point—it’s well-rounded! 🎯🤣
    
14. The bagel wanted to be a comedian, but its jokes had too many holes! 🕳️😆
    
15. Bagels are like old friends—warm, comforting, and full of carbs! 👯‍♂️🍞
    
16. I caught my bagel texting toast; turns out they’re into crummy humor! 📱🍞
    
17. I dated a bagel once. It was going well until it got too crusty! 💔🥯
    
18. The bagel won the race because it was on a roll—literally! 🏃‍♂️🥇
    
19. Bagels always hang out in circles—they can’t handle corners! 🔄🤪
    
20. I asked the bagel why it was smiling; it said life’s too short to be plain! 😁🥯

2. Everything Bagel One-Liners 🌈🥯

These puns come with all the fixings—just like your favorite everything bagel. From poppy seeds of wit to garlic-flavored giggles, this section is topped with laughs in every bite.

They’ve got flavor, flair, and just the right amount of ridiculousness. So grab your napkin, because these puns are about to get messy—in the funniest way possible!

21. My everything bagel gives me compliments—it really knows how to butter me up! 🧈😄
    
22. I asked my bagel for advice, and it said, “Don’t be salty—be seasoned!” 🧂😉
    
23. This everything bagel’s personality is so bold, it could host its own podcast! 🎙️🤣
    
24. I tried to outshine my bagel, but it had way more toppings than me! ✨🥯
    
25. My bagel’s jokes are so extra, even croissants feel basic around it! 🥐😆
    
26. He brought an everything bagel to a party—it stole the whole show! 🎉😋
    
27. My everything bagel said it didn’t need therapy—it’s already well-rounded and seasoned! 🧠🥯
    
28. I told my bagel I was sad, and it replied, “Lox it off, pal!” 🐟😂
    
29. This bagel doesn’t need filters—it’s naturally toasted to perfection! 📸🔥
    
30. Every time I eat this bagel, I feel like I’m seasoning life correctly! 🧂😄
    
31. My everything bagel keeps it spicy, even in a bland conversation! 🌶️🤣
    
32. If confidence was a food, it would be an everything bagel with double schmear! 😎🥯
    
33. The bagel threw shade at plain bread—said it lacked flavor and vision! 😏🍞
    
34. Bagels don’t fight—they just roll away from the drama fully loaded! 🛞😅
    
35. I asked the bagel if it felt overwhelmed, and it said, “Just a bit over-toasted!” 🔥🥺
    
36. That bagel walked into the room, and suddenly, toast felt underdressed! 👔😄
    
37. My everything bagel is so powerful, it turned my diet into a cheat week! 🍽️🤭
    
38. This bagel’s energy is so chaotic, even waffles had to step back! 🧇😬
    
39. I spilled my feelings to a bagel—it absorbed them like cream cheese! 😢🧀
    
40. The everything bagel said, “I’m not messy, I’m seasoned with personality!” 💃🥯

3. Toasted Humor You Can’t Resist 🔥😂

These bagel puns come with a crispy edge—fresh out of the toaster and straight into your funny bone. They’re warm, a little crunchy, and 100% delicious in the laugh department.

Whether you like your jokes golden brown or a little overdone, these toasted lines are guaranteed to warm up your day and your sense of humor!

41. I toasted my bagel for extra crunch, and now it’s got a sharper wit! 🔪😄
    
42. The bagel said it needed a tan, so I popped it into the toaster! ☀️😂
    
43. I caught my bagel tanning by the oven—it just wanted that golden glow! 🌞🔥
    
44. This toasted bagel is so dramatic, it crackled during our conversation! 🎭🥯
    
45. That bagel got so toasted, even marshmallows were jealous of its glow! 🔥😋
    
46. Toasting my bagel gave it a personality—it’s hot, sassy, and slightly burnt! 😎🍞
    
47. The bagel said it prefers heated debates—especially from inside the toaster! 💬🔥
    
48. I told my bagel to chill, and it screamed, “I’m too toasted for that!” 🥵😆
    
49. Toasted bagels don’t cry—they just crunch through the pain! 💔🥯
    
50. This bagel’s edges are crispier than my last relationship! 💀🔥
    
51. The bagel flirted with me right out of the toaster—said I looked butter-ful! 🧈😉
    
52. My toaster said it couldn’t handle the bagel’s attitude—it popped early in fear! 😱🍞
    
53. That bagel toasted so hard, it became an official snack superhero! 🦸‍♂️🥯
    
54. I asked the bagel how it felt, it replied, “Toasty and emotionally crispy!” 😄🔥
    
55. The bagel hosts a podcast called “Let’s Get Toasted”—it’s fire! 🎙️🔥
    
56. Bagels don’t ghost people—they just get toasted and never come back! 👻🥯
    
57. I tried to toast my bagel, and it turned into a motivational speaker! 📢😂
    
58. This bagel is so extra toasted, it started sizzling when I complimented it! 😅🔥
    
59. Even my coffee backed off when it saw how toasted the bagel got! ☕🥵
    
60. That toasted bagel’s confidence is hotter than a summer sidewalk! 🌡️😎

Read Also >>> 190+ Donut Puns to Sweeten Your Mood—Glazed and Amused!

4. Cream Cheese Comebacks That Spread Smiles 🧀😄

These bagel puns come smeared with extra humor and a dollop of sass. When cream cheese joins the party, things get smoother, richer, and way funnier!

Prepare for punchlines that spread faster than gossip in a bagel shop. Each line is cheesy in the best way possible—just the way your funny bone likes it!

61. My bagel said, “I’m nothing without cream cheese drama!” 🎭🧀
    
62. Cream cheese said it’s the glue that holds relationships and bagels together! ❤️🥯
    
63. The bagel proposed to cream cheese—it said yes without even spreading doubts! 💍😂
    
64. I caught the cream cheese gossiping—it’s always spreading something around! 🗣️🧀
    
65. This bagel’s so smooth, it slides compliments on a cream cheese platter! 💬😎
    
66. The cream cheese tried speed dating—it spread itself too thin! 🏃🧀
    
67. My bagel asked for space, so I removed the cream cheese—heartbreaking! 💔🥯
    
68. Bagel said cream cheese was clingy, but we all know it’s the real glue! 😅🧀
    
69. That cream cheese got promoted for being the spread that held the team together! 👏🧁
    
70. Even crackers feel insecure around bagels with this much creamy confidence! 😏🍘
    
71. The cream cheese held a seminar on staying cool under pressure—everyone spread the word! 🎤🧀
    
72. My fridge threw a party, and cream cheese was the life of it! 🎉🥯
    
73. That bagel became too full of itself after meeting triple-whipped cream cheese! 😆🧈
    
74. Even my bagel said, “Spread love, not war—preferably on both sides!” ✌️🧀
    
75. The bagel broke up with butter and found true love with cream cheese! 💔➡️❤️
    
76. Cream cheese keeps things together like duct tape for carbs! 🧀😄
    
77. This cream cheese knows all the best spreads—it’s a social snack butterfly! 🦋🍽️
    
78. Bagels without cream cheese feel emotionally crusty and totally unfulfilled! 🥲🥯
    
79. I offered my bagel peanut butter—it screamed betrayal and demanded cream cheese instead! 😱🥜
    
80. That cream cheese spread its talent all over town—one snack at a time! 🌆🧀

5. Morning Mood Bagel Zingers to Start Your Day 🌞🥯

Nothing wakes up the senses like a toasted bagel and a joke with cream cheese levels of smoothness. These bagel zingers are perfect for early birds and brunch lovers alike.

Whether you’re running late or just vibing with coffee, these puns will bring morning joy faster than your alarm clock can snooze. Get ready to rise and punshine!

81. My bagel wished me “crusty mornings and creamy vibes” today! ☀️🧀
    
82. I told my bagel it was my morning motivation—it blushed and toasted slightly! 😳🔥
    
83. The bagel refused to get out of bed until it was buttered properly! 🛌🧈
    
84. That morning bagel said, “No talkie until cream cheesy!” ☕😴
    
85. My breakfast sang, “Every little thing’s gonna be all bagel!” 🎶😋
    
86. I tried cereal, but my bagel staged a jealous crunchy protest! 🥣💢
    
87. My bagel’s energy this morning? A little toasted and wildly overconfident! 💁‍♂️🥯
    
88. The bagel said I couldn’t function until we had our daily spread session! 🧴🥯
    
89. Even my eggs asked the bagel how it stays so golden every morning! 🥚🏅
    
90. This bagel woke up early, dressed in everything seasoning, and owned the kitchen! ⏰🧂
    
91. I named my bagel “Captain Crunchy” because it takes breakfast seriously! ⚓🥯
    
92. The toaster said, “One more drama queen bagel and I’m retiring!” 🎭🔥
    
93. My coffee and bagel teamed up—they now run my entire morning routine! ☕🥯
    
94. That bagel winked and said, “Watch me rise and shine, babe!” 🌞😉
    
95. I asked my bagel for advice—it said, “Toast yourself and seize the day!” 🥯🗣️
    
96. Morning bagels are like mood boosters with sesame sprinkles! 🥳🌱
    
97. I tried meditating, but my bagel whispered, “Inner toast is the key!” 🧘‍♂️🔥
    
98. The cream cheese was still asleep, but the bagel was already vibing! 🛌🎧
    
99. I buttered my bagel wrong, and it gave me silent treatment all morning! 😶🧈
    
100. That bagel said mornings are for carbs and compliments only! 💬🥯

6. Sassiest Bagel Puns That Bring the Attitude 💅🥯

These bagels didn’t come to play—they came toasted, seasoned, and with enough attitude to make your coffee nervous. Get ready for lines that serve looks and laughs!

This set of puns walks into brunch like it owns the place. They’re bold, spicy, and won’t apologize for making your sides hurt from laughing!

101. My bagel told me, “Flakes can’t sit with us!” ❄️😏
     
102. Bagel showed up with lipstick and lox—it’s giving main character energy! 💄🐟
     
103. The bagel rolled its eyes and said, “Toast me, peasant.” 😤🔥
     
104. When someone called it plain, that bagel went everything on them! 😎🧂
     
105. My bagel told the croissant, “Stay flaky in your own lane!” 🥐🗯️
     
106. It wore sesame seeds like jewelry—total carb couture! 💍🥯
     
107. That bagel snapped, “Cream cheese only, no crumbs allowed!” 👏🧀
     
108. My breakfast bagel just served looks and lox on a silver platter! 💅🍽️
     
109. The toaster said this bagel was too hot to handle! 🔥🥯
     
110. Bagel told my plate, “Make room—I’m the main course, darling!” 💃🍽️
     
111. The bagel won brunch by simply existing with attitude and creaminess! 🏆🧀
     
112. That everything bagel had so much drama, it needed its own show! 📺🥯
     
113. Bagel wore poppy seeds like they were limited edition sparkles! ✨🌱
     
114. I toasted the bagel wrong—it filed a complaint to the kitchen staff! 😤📋
     
115. It didn’t come with cream cheese, it came with charisma and sass! 💁‍♀️🧀
     
116. The bagel rejected butter—it said, “I don’t settle for basic.” 🧈🙅
     
117. My bagel winked at me, then made my toast insecure! 😉🍞
     
118. The bagel told jam to sweeten its attitude before spreading! 🍓😎
     
119. I said “good morning” and the bagel said, “I’m already fabulous!” 🌞😌
     
120. That bagel doesn’t get toasted—it gets glowed up! ✨🔥

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7. Cheesy Bagel Puns That’ll Melt Your Heart 🧀❤️🥯

If your love language is carbs and cheesy one-liners, this batch is for you! These bagel puns are soft, warm, and loaded with that ooey-gooey charm.

Perfect for anyone who believes bagels and humor go best when smothered in cheese and served with a smile. Warning: extreme cheesiness ahead—grin responsibly!

121. My bagel proposed with cheese—it knew how to brie romantic! 💍🧀
     
122. That bagel was so cheesy, even the pizza got jealous! 🍕😆
     
123. I told my bagel I was sad—it melted all over to comfort me! 😢🧈
     
124. The bagel flirted like, “You cheddar believe I’m irresistible!” 😏🧀
     
125. When life gave it lemons, my bagel made lemon-cheddar fusion! 🍋🧀
     
126. This bagel said, “You’re the cheese to my holes!” 🥯💕
     
127. It wasn’t just toasted—it was grilled with love and mozzarella vibes! 🔥💛
     
128. I walked away and my bagel shouted, “Don’t brie-k my heart!” 💔🧀
     
129. Bagel went full Romeo and cheesiet—love at first toast! 🥯🎭
     
130. That cheesy bagel winked and said, “Gouda morning, cutie!” 😘🧀
     
131. The cream cheese was so smooth, it could be a jazz singer! 🎷🧀
     
132. Bagel claimed it had a doctorate in melt-ology! 🎓🔥
     
133. I gave it extra cheese—it blushed and got gooey! 😊🧈
     
134. This bagel was dripping so much cheese, it caused a kitchen melt-down! 😮🧀
     
135. My bagel used pickup lines cheesier than cheddar soup! 😅🥣
     
136. It smiled and said, “Brie mine forever, please!” 💘🧀
     
137. That bagel could fix heartbreak with a cheddar hug! 🤗🧀
     
138. The cream cheese whispered, “Let’s never split—spread me forever!” 🧀💬
     
139. I spilled cheese on it and it said, “Finally, a proper outfit!” 🧥🧀
     
140. Bagel and cheese together? That’s a whole melt-in-your-mouth romance! 💏🥯

8. Morning Mood Bagel Puns to Start Your Day Right ☀️🥯🌞

These puns wake up earlier than your alarm clock, armed with extra sass and a side of breakfast charm. They’re here to make sure your day starts with a smile (and maybe a snort-laugh).

Whether you’re a sunshine soul or a sleepyhead, these bagel puns will roll you right into good vibes. Morning blues? Not when your bagel’s got jokes like these!

141. My bagel told the coffee, “You’re not the only one who’s hot!” 🔥☕
     
142. It rolled out of the toaster and shouted, “Let’s dough this, Monday!” 🥯💪
     
143. Bagel refused to be plain, even before 8 AM! 🕗🌈
     
144. The alarm rang, and my bagel whispered, “Snooze me, baby.” 😴🥯
     
145. That bagel greeted me with, “Morning, sunshine! Let’s toast life today!” 🌞🍞
     
146. The bagel brought cream cheese and confidence—breakfast MVP! 🏆🧀
     
147. My bagel did yoga before I even opened my eyes! 🧘‍♀️🥯
     
148. That bagel wore sunglasses and said, “Too toasted for your negativity!” 😎🔥
     
149. It slid onto my plate like, “Mood: toasted and thriving!” 💅🔥
     
150. The bagel didn’t need caffeine—it was already full of energy! ⚡🥯
     
151. I spilled my coffee and the bagel said, “Still a brew-tiful morning!” ☕😂
     
152. My bagel ran the morning meeting—everyone took it seriously. 👔📊
     
153. It hummed “Good Morning” and did a spin on the plate! 🎶🌀
     
154. Bagel asked the toaster for extra crisp—total breakfast diva! 👑🔥
     
155. It jumped into my bag and said, “Let’s conquer this day together!” 🎒💥
     
156. I was grumpy, and my bagel winked and said, “Lighten up, buttercup!” 😏🧈
     
157. The cream cheese gave a TED talk—Topic: “Spreading Positivity at Breakfast!” 🎤🧀
     
158. Bagel cheered me on like, “Yes you can, rise and shine!” 🙌🌞
     
159. The only thing smoother than my morning playlist was this toasted bagel! 🎧🧈
     
160. Even Monday couldn’t bring me down—my bagel said, “Toast it like it’s Friday!” 🎉🥯

9. Drama Queen Bagel Puns That Deserve an Oscar 🎭🥯🏆

Some bagels don’t just sit quietly on your plate. They act, they perform, they monologue! This section is for the bagels that love the spotlight and aren’t afraid to crumble under pressure.

These theatrical puns are bursting with flair, sass, and just the right amount of over-the-top. They’re crunchy, flaky, and worthy of a standing ovation!

161. My bagel threw itself off the plate shouting, “I was toasted too soon!” 🎬🥯
     
162. It dramatically melted the cream cheese and whispered, “This is my final form.” 😩🧀
     
163. That bagel refused to be cut in half—it needed to stay whole for its role! 🎭🥯
     
164. The toaster beeped and it yelled, “Cue the spotlight—I’m ready!” 🌟🔥
     
165. My bagel cried over spilled coffee and said, “We could’ve been breakfast goals!” 😢☕
     
166. It wore a crumb coat and called it a red carpet look! 💃🥯
     
167. When the butter melted unevenly, it screamed, “Makeup artist, redo this scene!” 💄🧈
     
168. That bagel slapped the knife and said, “Nobody slices a diva!” 😤🔪
     
169. I tried to eat it and it gasped, “You betray me with teeth?!” 😱😬
     
170. The cream cheese got cold feet before the big topping performance! ❄️🧀
     
171. Bagel canceled brunch because it needed to “find itself emotionally.” 🧘‍♂️🥯
     
172. It said, “My role? I’m the hero and the snack!” 🎥🍽️
     
173. That bagel rehearsed its toast monologue 12 times—perfect delivery! 🎙️🔥
     
174. When topped with lox, it whispered, “I’m not ready to be this iconic!” 🐟🥯
     
175. The bagel joined improv and said, “I’m totally unscripted—gluten-free emotions only!” 🎭😂
     
176. It was rejected by the toaster and yelled, “I deserve a golden crust!” 🏆🥵
     
177. Bagel stormed off the table, mumbling, “Nobody respects my artistry anymore!” 🎩🥯
     
178. The jam said one wrong word and the bagel had a full emotional breakdown! 🍓😭
     
179. It kept asking, “Was that scene chewy enough?” after every bite! 🎬🦷
     
180. That bagel ended brunch with, “I’m leaving this plate… dramatically!” 🍽️🚪

10. Bagel Puns With Extra Toppings of Sass & Smiles 🧀🥯😎

These puns aren’t your average snack—they’re topped with attitude, wit, and a side of giggles. Perfect for anyone who likes their humor with a little seasoning and their bagels with a lot of personality.

Get ready to chew on some serious wordplay because these sassy bagels are stealing the spotlight and serving jokes hotter than your morning toast.

181. My bagel rolled in like, “Hope you’re ready for a breakfast upgrade!” 🔥🥯
     
182. It wore capers like jewelry and said, “I’m brunch royalty now.” 💎🐟
     
183. The bagel snapped at the muffin, “Stay in your lane, crumb boy!” 😏🍞
     
184. I tried to take a bite, and it sassed, “Excuse you, I’m not done posing!” 📸🥯
     
185. It told the toast, “Nice tan, but I’ve got that golden glow naturally.” 🌞🧈
     
186. My bagel updated its profile pic mid-toast—hot and fresh! 📱🔥
     
187. That bagel’s confidence was so high, it buttered itself! 🧈💅
     
188. The cream cheese asked, “How do I look?” Bagel replied, “Iconic, darling!” 💁‍♂️🧀
     
189. It told the knife, “You can cut me, but you’ll never break me!” ✂️🥯
     
190. Even the toaster asked for this bagel’s autograph after breakfast! 🖊️🔥
     
191. My bagel’s attitude was louder than the blender at smoothie hour! 🔊🍓
     
192. It wore sesame seeds like they were diamonds—total flex. 💎🥯
     
193. This bagel refused to share plate space—said it only dines solo! 🍽️😤
     
194. I asked for plain, it showed up dressed in everything. 💃🌈
     
195. That bagel called itself “carbohydrate couture”—runway ready! 👠🥯
     
196. It told the croissant, “Puff pastry? Please, I’m substance and style.” 🥐🙄
     
197. It didn’t just get toasted—it got golden and glorious! 🔥🏅
     
198. The bagel got a podcast deal before the coffee brewed. 🎙️☕
     
199. It winked and said, “I’m not just a snack—I’m the whole brunch.” 😘🍽️
     
200. When I looked away, the bagel took a selfie and captioned it, “Flour goals!” 📷🥯

Also Read More >>> 190+ Jam Puns to Make Your Day a Whole Lot Sweeter

Conclusion

A good pun can turn an ordinary day into something unforgettable, and these bagel puns have done just that. With every twist, topping, and cheesy line, you’ve gotten a fresh batch of laughs to share and enjoy. Whether you’re a pun lover or just needed a giggle, these jokes deliver joy on a silver bagel tray.

The collection from 190+ Bagel Puns That Are Hole-y Hilarious and Delicious proves humor doesn’t need to be complicated. A simple bagel, a sprinkle of wordplay, and a whole lot of fun can lift anyone’s mood. Keep these tasty puns in your humor pantry—they’re perfect for any moment that needs a smile.

FAQ’s

What makes bagel puns so popular?

Bagel puns are easy to relate to, play on familiar breakfast themes, and mix humor with everyday food. Their simplicity makes them shareable and loved by all age groups.

Can I use these bagel puns on social media?

Yes! These puns are perfect for captions, tweets, or even short reels. Just pair them with a yummy photo or a reaction gif for extra effect.

Are these puns suitable for kids?

Absolutely. These bagel puns are clean, silly, and suitable for kids, making them great for family-friendly fun.

How can I make my own bagel puns?

Think of words that rhyme or sound like “bagel,” “dough,” “toast,” etc. Then build a joke around a common situation or phrase using that wordplay.

Why are food puns like these so funny?

Food puns mix everyday life with humor, making them super relatable. Plus, we all eat—so everyone gets the joke quickly and enjoys it instantly.

The pun party doesn’t stop here – explore more unlimited puns at FunneyPuns.com!